Rejection is an aspect of life that is always inevitable in some shape or form.
No matter how small or big the rejection is, it majorly impacts us, period.
Feeling rejected doesn’t have to stem from something major such as not getting into your first choice university or not getting an interview for your dream job. Scenarios we experience everyday can make us feel rejected, for example if someone doesn’t laugh at a joke you tell them or they haven’t replied to your text as quickly as they normally do.
Although we may feel rejection, this NEVER means that we are not important or valued in any way! It only means that in that one scenario, it just didn’t work out the way you planned it to. At the end of the day, rejection does hurt and it’s extremely hard to avoid. If you try to avoid rejection, you can’t become afraid of it, and this could prevent you from achieving success or gaining something you desire.
How do we deal with rejection?
The more we deal with rejection, the less it will actually affect us! Let’s explore how we can develop our ability to cope with rejection:
Honesty Is The Best Policy
Honesty is important when it comes to rejection and it focus on the basis of what you think and how you are feeling. If you experience rejection - identify it yourself! Do not attempt to push it aside or put on a false bravado. Try to normalise how your are feeling instead of adopting the stigma or “I shouldn't be feeling this way". Also acknowledge the strength of your feelings. Has this rejection upset you a little or a lot? A natural way to release this emotion is to cry!
Now it‘s time to put a name to your feeling! An example being “I feel very dissapointed that I didn’t pass the interview for that job. I did want it quite badly. I feel incapable that I am not ready for the world of work in that field”. It can help to share the load by letting someone know what you have experienced and how you are feeling about it. Make sure it is someone who can provide you with support and listen to your concerns.
Sharing the load helps because:
You can feek reassured that someone else is empathetic to how you are feeling
It helps you to establish into words and provide clarity on what you are feeling
It is extremely easy to get caught up in negative emotions when dealing with rejection. However, dwelling on it isn’t going to help! You are just going to relive it repeatedly! Why would you do that to yourself? This makes it even harder for you to overcome your rejection. It is okay to acknowledge your rejected feelings but do not punish yourself for feeling that way. Negative thoughts can impact our expectations of the world and how we react to different scenarios. This links to motivating yourself to remain positive - the best is yet to come.
Keep Your Perspective!
By keeping your perspective on things, it can reassure and remind you of the good qualities about you and your strengths! Try telling yourself instead that "Right, so I got rejected this time around from this scenario. Potentially next time, I'll get accepted or I will tell myself that this isn’t my ideal outcome but I can try again another time” Always remember previous experiences of being accepted and hearing “YES”. Acknowledge everyone who you have relationships with and their support for you. Please give yourself credit for always trying! You made that leap! You can handle this, even if you were rejected so many times before. There will always be other opportunities in the future. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand that reason yet, or not at all!
Rejection Is A Learning Curve
Getting rejected offers the opportunity to learn from any mistakes we may have made or errors that have occurred. It helps to work on any areas that need improving - and it is completely okay to do so! If any skills were not strong enough this time around, you will know to do EVERYTHING in your power to build on those skills to hear that word “YES”.
To conclude, rejection can be seen as a massive wake up call. However if it is dealt with correctly, it can divert you onto the right path that correlates to your own skills set. This will help you to also recognise all of the amazing things that make you, you.